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Ode to my Sweatpants

Ode to my Sweatpants

 

O, faithful pair of sweatpants,

I've worn since Christmas day...

The comfort you have given me,

I never can repay.

 


You've clothed me as I binge-ate

At ev'ry Yuletide feast

You've sopped up gravy, nog and chocolate

And complained not in the least.

 

You robed me as I slept and lounged

On couches and in bed

But today, your odor is not unlike

A wildebeest that's dead.

 

My family won't approach me;

My neighbors, me, ignore;

E'en my faithful puppy, Mickey

Will come to me no more.

 

To the laundry I consign thee;

A wash you must endure.

But you and I will meet again;

of this, you can be sure.

 

So, Farewell, faithful sweatpants,

Until you're clean and odor-free;

When, then again, you'll gird my girth

And reunite with me.

Posted with permission of long time and great friend Bob Farkas who wrote this while cooking his breakfast this morning.  I thought many might relate and would enjoy Bob's entertaining spin.

© Bob Farkas

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Comment balloon 62 commentsJohn McCormack, CRS • January 06 2014 08:57AM

Comments

LOL John, I am laughing as I type.  Thanks for Monday humor.

Posted by Mary Yonkers, Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor (Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate) over 5 years ago

Good morning, John -- this is waaaaaaay tooooo much information.

 

Very funny.

Posted by Michael Jacobs, Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393 over 5 years ago

John- oh yes... my husband has a very similar pair that I have to pry from his hands so that I may wash them. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) over 5 years ago

John, wash thee, I'm about ready to set fire to mine. You're too funny!

Posted by Adrian Willanger, Profit from my two decades of experience (206 909-7536 AdrianWillanger-broker.com) over 5 years ago

John,

Thanks for sharing the great prose, you've definitely brought a smile to the start of my day.

Posted by Trisha Bush-LeFore, Providing Realtor Services in the Walla Walla Area (Preferred Properties Land & Homes) over 5 years ago

John,

How fun, and yes it is funny how we all get attached to a piece of clothing.  Wishing you a great week. A

Posted by Ron and Alexandra Seigel, Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy (Napa Consultants) over 5 years ago

Wow John,  I guess Inever treated my sweatpants the same way that you feel about yours.  Have a great day!

Posted by Will Hamm, "Where There's a Will, There's a Way!" (Hamm Homes) over 5 years ago

Yikes those are some sweatpants.  Have a very successful 2014

Posted by Elite Home Sales Team, A Tenacious and Skilled Real Estate Team (Elite Home Sales Team OC) over 5 years ago

That was so touching, as I dab my wet eyes. LOL    I do have to say I can hardly wait to get home from work and put them on with my slippers.

Posted by Rob D. Shepherd, Principal Broker GRI, SRES (Windermere/lane county) over 5 years ago

I know how you feel John. With all of the snow day loafing my family has been doing this winter, I owe our couch a Shakespearean sonnet!

Posted by Donny Carter, Mountain Maryland Real Estate Expert (Carter & Roque Real Estate) over 5 years ago

John,  In cold weather we do value our sweats in every way.

Posted by Belinda Spillman, Colorado Living! (Aspen Lane Real Estate Colorful Colorado) over 5 years ago

I do love my sweatpants but as of yet I have not composed a sonnet to them.

Posted by Liz Wallace, Broker C21 Sherlock Homes, Rockville Centre, LI, N (Century 21 Sherlock Homes) over 5 years ago

That was fantastic!  This doesn't entirely apply to me.  My dog would maul me were my sweatpants covered in gravy.  I laughed.  This was a gem.

Posted by ReadySetLoan Condo Approval Team, The FHA/VA Condo Project Approval Specialists (ReadySetLoan Condo Team LLC) over 5 years ago

Haha, your friend Bob has quite the imagination.

Posted by Scott Larson, Park City, Utah Real Estate News (BHHS/Utah Properties) over 5 years ago

John  We all have a pair  Arthur and I wish you a healthy, happy and prosperous 2014

Posted by Karen Kruschka, - "My Experience Isn't Expensive - It's PRICELESS" (RE/MAX Executives) over 5 years ago

Oh, Bob's a good man, John, and I'll bet a really fun friend! I'm sure that if he did this over breakfast that this is not his first poem...

Posted by Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate, "Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905 (John L Scott Market Center) over 5 years ago

My body is built for sweat pants and I wear them to work when not meeting clients.  (They joy of working for myself).  The only thing better is a nice pair of PJ's.

Posted by Gene Riemenschneider, Turning Houses into Homes (Home Point Real Estate) over 5 years ago

John - LOL! Love it. Now, to write one of my own...

sweat pants

Posted by Jeff Stevens, Jeff Stevens REALTOR®/Associate Broker (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New Mexico Properties) over 5 years ago

Howdy and afternoon John and Debbie

John and Debbie my AR friends, will will will. I'm sure glad I did not miss such an enjoy read this evening. Sometime we just have to visit water, in-order to keep others happy.

Happiness sure is Homemade
Have a good one
Dale in New Hampshire

Posted by Dale Baker, New Hampshire Relocation Real Estate Information (Baker Energy Audits and Commercial Properties Inspections) over 5 years ago

John, elastic is our best friend during the holidays, LOL.  

Posted by Juli Vosmik, Scottsdale/Cave Creek, AZ real estate 480-710-0739 (Dominion Fine Properties) over 5 years ago

It must be a guy thing...I had to put a pair of my husband's workout shorts in the wash yesterday...not sure how many days in a row I saw him in them but it was several!

Posted by Anita Clark, Realtor - Homes for Sale in Warner Robins GA (ColdwellBanker SSK Realtors ~ 478.960.8055) over 5 years ago

OMG, this is hysterical and btw, I try so hard NOT to wear them because of the expanding waistline possibilities-so hysterical!

Posted by Joanna Cohlan, Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes (Fresh Eyes For Your Home) over 5 years ago

John - The only way this could have been any better would have been a picture of those pants before they hit the washer!  Sounds like a great holiday week!

Posted by Laura Allen, Lake Tahoe - Truckee Real Estate for Sale TahoeLauraRealEstate.com, Tahoe Real Estate Agent Helping Buyers and Sellers (Coldwell Banker, Tahoe City, CA (530) 414-1260) over 5 years ago

Too funny, John, and oh how I can relate. I didn't have any sweatpants, but I wish I did. 8-)

Posted by Mike Cooper, GRI, Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro (Cornerstone Business Group Inc) over 5 years ago

Q Man, this rocks.....just too funny.

Posted by Roger D. Mucci, Lets shake things up at your home today! (Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092) over 5 years ago

John,  This is why I don't wear them ... I prefer the pants that bind and keep me from eating more than I need to and more than I should.  This is very cute and creative!

Posted by Kathleen Daniels, San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist (KD Realty - 408.972.1822) over 5 years ago

Good evening John,

And you were with out of town clients!

Make yourself a great day.

Posted by Raymond E. Camp, Licensed Real Estate Salesperson Greater Rochester (Howard Hanna Real Estate Services) over 5 years ago

Ha ha, this is just too funny! I must admit, I too have a certain lounge outfit that just never seems to want to go away! It's called my "day-off-sweater" - and guess what, sometimes I wear it during the week!!!! 

Posted by Erin Bates (CMG Financial and Expansion Marketing Services) over 5 years ago

John, this is awesome! Comfy sweats are the best, when I find a pair I really like I go back and get a second for a backup :)

Posted by Amanda S. Davidson, Alexandria Virginia Homes For Sale (Amanda Davidson Real Estate Group Brokered By eXp Realty) over 5 years ago

I think this was written just for my husband's nasty sweat pants. 

Posted by Debbie Reynolds, Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent (Platinum Properties) over 5 years ago

John you are a crack up. At least you are hanging out at home in the sweat pants. I think when I see people out in public with them on that they bounced out of bed and straight over to the store.

Hope you get some graphics results soon buddy

Posted by Noah Seidenberg, Chicagoland and Suburbs (800) 858-7917 (Coldwell Banker) over 5 years ago

Hi John, your friend just hit one out of the ballpark. 

Posted by Jane Chaulklin-Schott, TeamConnect Luxury Homes - Orlando, Florida, 32836 (TEAMCONNECT REALTY - (407) 394-9766) over 5 years ago

Girding your girth cleanly is so important John

Posted by Conrad Allen, Webster, Ma, Realtor (Re/Max Professional Associates) over 5 years ago
That's a good one! Very funny, thanks for the giggle! Have a great day!!!
Posted by Collette over 5 years ago

Good morning friends.

Seems like we all can relate to ole time friend and funny man Bob Farkas.  He can certainly come up with some good stuff.  Glad you liked and appreciate the time you took from your day to comment.  I'll share this link with Bob so he can get a few chuckles as well. 

Make it a great day in and out of real estate!

Posted by John McCormack, CRS, Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me! (Albuquerque Homes Realty) over 5 years ago

John, 

Very clever, creative and funny. I wear my work zip pants more than once to work out but eventually both pair end up in the laundry. I think most guys can relate to your poem! 

Posted by Robert Bob Gilbert, Your Katy TX ( West of Houston) Real Estate Expert (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Anderson Properties) over 5 years ago

John~ I did enjoy this very much. Your friend is very talented. I spent many days during the season in sweatpants, and I spend many weekends, particularly when watching football dressed in this very attire!

Posted by Donna Foerster, Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant (HomeSmart Realty Group) over 5 years ago

John, this is such a wonderful laugh!  You do have a way with words.

Posted by Patricia Kennedy, Home in the Capital (RLAH Real Estate) over 5 years ago

John, this is such a wonderful laugh!  You do have a way with words.

Posted by Patricia Kennedy, Home in the Capital (RLAH Real Estate) over 5 years ago

Hi John, thanks for the laughs. Loved this poem and will show this to my hubby and maybe I can wash his sweatpants

Posted by Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®, Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate (Vision Quest Realty) over 5 years ago

Hi John... What a fun poem! Thanks for sharing it. Bob's got a great sense of humor. I have an old pair of favorite jeans, if they could talk there'd be a duet for sure! Happy New Year!

Posted by Rene Fabre, Marketing in the Digital Age (First American Title) over 5 years ago

Mine are in the washer, as I write this.  Definitely "needed" too.  Can't wait to crawl back into them tonite.  All warm.  All clean and comfy ...

Loved the post ...

Gene

Posted by Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi, 708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience (NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656) over 5 years ago

I'm wearing mine right now ... they don't get that yucky before seeing the washing machine.

Posted by Raymond Denton, Shady Canyon Specialist (Homesmart / Evergreen Realty) over 5 years ago

John, I changed out of mine to come to the office. You made me laugh out loud!

Posted by Connie Harvey, Realtor - Nashville TN Real Estate (Pilkerton Realtors) over 5 years ago

I think you need to ask Santa for an extra pair or two next year. 

If you were here, you would need some long johns under the sweat pants.

Posted by Roy Kelley (Realty Group Referrals) over 5 years ago

John,

Very funny, creative and this is true.
A lesson to be learned by you know who.

Keeping at bay unwanted clients, there is a chance-
If only you wouldn't wash those faithful pair of sweatpants! 

 

Posted by Nick T Pappas, Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource (Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Huntsville AL) over 5 years ago

Oh how funny that was John! And yet we can all identify with them.  The comfortable clothes don't get out of sight very often.  We can't do without them for even the hour it takes to wash and dry.  Heaven help our spouse if they sneak them away...for our own good.

Posted by Evelyn Johnston, The People You Know, Like and Trust! (Friends & Neighbors Real Estate) over 5 years ago

I sent Mr Farkas the AR link to this early this morning. But now I see it has  received many more comments I will contact Bob yet again and request he refresh the tab to view your comments.  I'm sure he will welcome them just as I do.  Now time to find my favorite sweats and slide em on for the evening! 

Posted by John McCormack, CRS, Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me! (Albuquerque Homes Realty) over 5 years ago

Too funny. You gotta love the sweat pants and they joy, or comfort, they bring lol

Posted by David Shamansky, Creative, Aggressive & 560 FICO - OK, Colorado Mtg (US Mortgages - David Shamansky) over 5 years ago

Thank you for sharing.  I just returned from a ten day vacation and a laugh was needed.  Have a great night!

Posted by Karen Feltman, Relocation Specialist in Cedar Rapids, Iowa (Cedar Rapids/Iowa City, IA KW Legacy Group) over 5 years ago
Bravo! LOL! did you write that?
Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) over 5 years ago

Seriously? NO! Thank heaven!

Posted by Vanessa Saunders, From Manhattan to the Catskills of New York (Global Property Systems Real Estate) over 5 years ago

John - I can totally relate to your sweatpants ode.  I have a couple favorite pairs myself.  There is something about an end to the day, that allows for slipping into their familiar fleece, stretched from wear in all the familiar places.  I had to let an tattered set go recently.  Honest to God, I thought I was going to be in mourning for the next week :-)

 

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) over 5 years ago

I might also add that I believe an old loyal set of sweats, are something akin to a "bye-bye" blanket for toddlers.  It's the same psychological mindset:-)

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) over 5 years ago

LOL

Posted by Richard Bazinet /MBA, CRS, ABR, Phoenix Scottsdale. Sellers, Buyers & Relocations (West USA Realty) over 5 years ago

That is seriously just TOO FUNNY!!  Your friend is very talented indeed and glad he allowed you to copy and share with all of us!

Posted by The Temple Team, Specializing in Lake Norman/Charlotte/Charleston (THE TEMPLE TEAM) over 5 years ago

This is hilarious! I have a feeling I'll end up remembering this post every after new year, once those trusty sweatpants need to retire.

Posted by John Jonas, John Jonas (ReplaceMyself - Virtual Assistants) over 5 years ago
Oh my god....that is fabulous....and kind of scary if you actually wore them for that long....time to get back to a regular schedule!
Posted by Carol Zingone, Global Realtor in Jax Beach, FL - ABR, CRS, CIPS (Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Florida Network Realty) over 5 years ago

That's fantastic - kudos for your friend's creativity (and willpower to finally take them off!) :)

Posted by Jill Saddler, Draper Utah Real Estate Professional - 25 years+! over 5 years ago

Hahahaha, that is too great! Think we all can relate to the need of extra space and the pants that make this possible :p

 

Posted by Chandler Real Estate Liz Harris, MBA, #ChandlerRealEstateAgent (Liz Harris Realty) over 5 years ago

I love it!  Your friend is a mighty fine poet!!!

Posted by Rosie Moore (Serving Sugar Land, Richmond, Rosenberg, Missouri City) over 5 years ago

Very funny John and I seem to have had a similar experience this year.  In fact I am tossing mine in the garbage today!  Best on 2014.

Posted by John F Muscarella, Broker/Owner, Venice, FL, Florida's Suncoast (RIVER FARM PROPERTIES, LLC) over 5 years ago

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